Beautiful Eyes are an Ugly Thing

I always liked my eyes, you know? They were the only thing I liked about my body. They're big and brown and are the window to my emotions of angry and happy.But today. I realized. These pretty eyes of mine, they're not so pretty. They are painful and may lead to my downfall. Last week, I found out I had a cyst in my right eye in the right corner. We made an appointment today to take it out. My doctor actually wanted me to wait until it got bigger to take it out, but I just wanted it out now.So today, my mom took me to my ophthalmologist, her first time going with me and all. The first thing he did was stick a q-tip with the powers to numb into my right eye socket where the cyst was. Yeah, he just left it there for a good ten minutes while he had a pleasant chat with my mom about Vietnam. I sat there, I just kept on looking left because I didn't want to look right and see this q-tip sticking out of my eye. At first I was hysterical and laughing quietly to myself because it was so scary. Then I got used to it and just sat there. After a while, I realized he didn't take it out yet, I got hysterical again and started shaking a lot. I could not close my right eye because it was too uncomfortable to do so, so I just stared at the ceiling and my vision got blurrier and blurrier as I did.He finally took it out and then made me put my head/chin onto that contraption with the light and the super magnifying glasses so that he could see. Then right away he took a needle out and I made a whining noise because that has got to be the scariest needle that I would have EVER seen in my life. For some odd reason, it didn't hurt, I didn't even feel it. It must have been that magical q-tip.Soon he started bringing random sized tweezers, scissors, and a mini small small knife for incisioning near my eyes, and the whole time I had to look left as give him a clearer view of the cyst. It is a scary thing to see the doctor bring the scariest contraptions to your eye. However, I am lucky. I did not have to watch him poke around and pull with those things. I'm pretty sure I would have busted out crying if I did. Then the little scissors came. I heard him snipping away, and it freaked me out, it really did. To hear a doctor be THAT close to your eye and hear him snip skin away. I was whimpering the whole time because I was so scared. Unfortunately for me, the numbing medicine wore off and I felt every little pain. I started crying. So he injected me with the needle again.He was almost done, but there was apparently still a little stubborn piece that would not get out. And after more probing and pulling, he finally got it out. If he hadn't it probably would have grown back and the procedure would then again repeat itself. He fears there may be still a piece VERY deep in, but so deep that if he were to make a wrong move, he would cut open the liquid to my eyeball and there goes my eye. So I'm so unlucky, aren't I? The whole time, my mom had to hold my head up to the contraption so the doctor could see, because I was slowly backing away from it all. I was scared, so scared I didn't even notice I was moving.The worst part? He kept the tray on his right, which was my left. From time to time he would get a q-tip to wipe away the blood in my eye so that he could see better. It scared me how much blood was poring out. All of the materials he used became bloody, all the q-tips soaked in blood that they dripped onto the paper towel it was lying on. In the beginning he put a tissue paper underneath my chin, and in the end, it was soaked with blood and tears.After it was all done, the numbing medicine wore off, and all hell broke loose. He gave me a Tylenol to get better, and I think he also gave me a skittle (I could taste the flavorness), but I was so shaken up, I just swallowed it whole as if it was medicine. My eyes were so blurred, I couldn't even tell the difference between a skittle and medicine.There is still incisions and skin in my eye. It pokes my eye and taunts it so. It hurts. Its uncomfortable. I cannot do anything until it heals. Stupid skin poking my eye.Now that I am home. I want to cry. I tried my best to stay strong in the office. And I did. I told myself that I should wait to go home and cry, and here I am. I want to cry so badly. I want to scream and sob. I'm so scared, shocked, and shaken up, but I cannot cry. Do you know why? The salt in my tears cause agonizing pain into the wounds of my right eye. The more I cry, the more pain I will be in. So I will have to suppress my emotions inside. Maybe another day, maybe another day. I promised pictures, but right now, I'm so shaken up, I don't even want to look at my wounds. I'm sorry.Posted by Super Bunny at 4:53 PM Labels: eyes